A luxurious slip through time
I am now reading repeated stories about Rolls-Royce being ‘on a roll’.
Well, I really did express the excitement of the first day when the family’s silverware came mostly from Automat. Rolls-Royce. By the 10th—in the Coney Island Times, which I did my best to write at the time—I reported on the general experience.
The car my husband bought? He quickly fell asleep. Snort, cough – and straight to Rolls-Royce heaven. The second biggest day? He stopped on a six-lane highway and Fords, Chevrolets, Volkswagens approached, shouting “get a horse.”
“Just a little correction, Moddom,” said our salesman, so British he sounds like King Charles of the South. After a month of minor adjustment, my husband went back in. The ignition was turned off, no one was around and the rear windows did not move by themselves. Both direction signals were working at the same time. The light from the makeup mirror on the right side of the back illuminated the mahogany table on the left.
Also, in January, the air conditioner exploded from the heating unit. “Small adjustment, Moddom,” whined the salesman at his headquarters, who probably still had my Coney Island Times releases tucked away in their warehouse.
The car had 99 problems, not me
On a straight country road, late at night, with no other cars around, this Silver Shadow triumph got up to 5 mpg. It fell a little in city traffic. “One doesn’t buy a Rolls for the economy,” the salesman hummed at us, as if we wouldn’t be doing business with the likes of you if the pound hadn’t fallen.
At noon, at 57th and Madison, there was a crowd around this white ghost car – license plate JA4. Photos were taken from there. The hood was up. Smoke came out of the engine. I got on the first thing that moved – a bus to the city – and my destination was the center of the city.
Then the brake lining problem and the reheat condition. Also the radio stopped, the rear license plate fell off, the trunk locked and the car stalled. IN TRANSPORT. But it was so beautiful that even when it could not move, we, the owners, proudly leaned on it and called a taxi.
They say the only thing that makes noise in a Rolls is the clock. Yes. Unless the owner is crying.
We didn’t realize that ours was possibly one of the earliest Silver Shadow designs and was even a used store model. No matter what. Honestly, the excitement of even having an asthmatic lasts for days.
Judy’s pockets
from TIME Judge Judy’s British Press Terrible Blast in case you missed it:
“Prince Harry William “recoiled” from Meghan’s first hug, he writes. He is a selfish, pampered, ungrateful dishonest grandson who bites the hand that feeds him. “If my child or grandchild did the same thing to me, I would be angry and hurt.”
Divorced Me-Me-Meghan abandoned her father, abused her ex-best friend, fought with everyone, only looked out for money and fame, and eventually wasted all her bodily fluids on Prince Empty, as she was born.
His name is everywhere except toilet paper. voice. . come on . fair. . Waiting.
Meghan’s piggy bank will soon learn that money can’t buy happiness. What this gets you is a richer set of relatives.
Only in England, guys, only in England.
